AND I'M OFF...!!!

For those of you that are not aware, I am off to LONDON, ENGLAND in a matter of hours!! I'm soooo excited!!! What a great way to end a stank ass, effed up, piece of steaming cow shit summer! No really...this was probably the worst summer in all my years on Earth. It sucked.... I want to do whatever I can to forget about the endless days of rain and dark grey skies! Eww! We literally had 7 days of sunshine....and that was the end of that! I'm not the only one who thought this summer suck cow balls either! Everyone I've talked to has said the exact same thing! From Canada Day to Caribana....the excitment these past 3 months have been at a all time low...and by that I mean on a scale from 1 to 10 is was a big fat fakin ZERRRRRROOO!!!

Excuse my hauntedness today...I'm just so damn excited to be leaving this shit hole for a while! Don't get me wrong. I LOVE me some Toronto and all but I am lonnnnng overdue for a vacation. My mom was raised in England and I have a ton of family on both my parents' sides that I'm so looking forward to meeting. This trip is JUST what I need to clear my head and come back a brand new and improved Bad Bytch! Oh the shopping, the food, the fresh delicious CHOCOLATE factories, the sexy Brits with their sexy accents.....I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

I should have a computer at my hotel so I'll try my best to keep you guys updated and post as many pics and video as I can....Ok I'm lying! I won't be doing any of that until I get back! Who am I really fooling here?!

Don't miss me too much!!
I love you all!!!

Later Chaps!!!

Letting go...

Anyone out there who thinks letting go of a relationship is an easy process has undoubtedly never been in love. If you've ever told someone to "just get over it" or "stop dwelling on it", I have news for you...easier said than done my friend. You see the process of letting go does not just involve walking away from someone and jumping in bed with the next appealing person that catches your eye. Letting go means mentally and emotionally removing a person from your life. A person that once meant the world to you. A person with whom you've shared a million kisses, a thousand hugs and countless memories. A person who was by your side when you woke up suddenly from a bad dream at night. A person who kissed away your tears even when you tried your hardest not to cry in front of them. A person with whom you shared the type of laughter that made you feel like cheeks were going to burst. A person whose arms felt like iron gates, that once wrapped around you and made you feel like nothing in this world could possibly harm you. A person who you grew with and eventually grew apart from.

Letting go is probably the hardest thing a person can possibly do in this life. I used to be ashamed about admitting that I was in a relationship that failed. I felt like I had to act like I was strong enough to hold down any man and make it last no matter what. I'm now wise enough to know that you can't change people and more importantly, you can never change the plans that God has for you. I am not ashamed to have lost because I loved. I loved with every piece of my heart and soul. There's no better feeling in this world than having someone to share your love with, and because of this, I have no regrets. I still love. I will always love. I am grateful for the time we shared together and I am thankful for what I learned from our relationship. When I cry, it's because in essence, a part of me has died but in reality that part will live forever as memories in my heart. All good things must eventually come to an end, and the end brings on beautiful new beginnings. I look forward to learning more and loving again.

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more and
To let go and to let God, is to find peace !

Remember: The time to love is short ------ author unknown

Again....

I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back to me in
My mind


Chorus:
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again


A wounded heart you gave,
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many,
I know you did
I come from a place that hurts,
an' God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
Never fall again
Making love to you oh it felt so good and
Oh so right

Repeat Chorus

So here we are alone again,

Didn't think it'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss
I've come too close to happiness,
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
Never fall again
Kinda late in the game
And my heart is in your hands
Don't you stand there and then tell me
You love me
Then leave again
'Cause I'm falling in love with you again
Hold me, hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do love you again

How much respect do half naked women deserve nowadays???

Nice guys vs. Bad Boys

Do nice guys really finish last?? Damn right they do!!! Why?? Who the hell knows??!? Bad boys make us crazy in more ways than one, yet us women refuse to give them up....

Stay tuned for the wrap-up on this topic plus an exciting new one!!!

xoxo

I look drugged!!!

Nonetheless I address a questionable topic.....listen carefully and share your opinion....

NEW VIDEO BLOGS!!!!!

Reporting to you all from the comfort of my living room!!
Hope u can hear me....

Oh my God I'm back again!!!!

Yessssss!!! That's right! Your eyes are NOT deceiving you! Ash's back! I took a well needed vacation from blogging but now I'm just down right bored! Plus I missed you guys!! It's been far too long! Let's catch up shall we??

First of all me just say, I decided today that if I were a man, I would definitely be gay! Yup!! I'd be a flaming homosexual! You know why? Cuz females are just disgusting! They're gross! Their mission in lives are to lie on their backs and do as little else as possible. They are cheaters, they are liars, they are whores and they're just down right nasty! Now I'm not speaking of all women, mostly just the baby mommas (or future baby mommas) in the 20-25 age range that went to Pope in Scarborough. So if you attended any other high school, you are not included in this vent. However if you are a former Pope attendee and you happen to be reading this right now, I have 5 words for you that you'll probably be hearing often for the rest of your life "HE IS NOT THE FATHER!!!" Try again in another 9 months ladies! Don't worry, Maury never run out or paternity tests!

Ok now that that's out of the way...I've also made the decision to not make my blogs quite as personal as I was before. I know that may be disappointing because so many of you seem to enjoy the roller coaster I call life, BUT if you're close enough to me, you'll get the inside scoop regardless. And if you're not, chances are you'll probably hear it from someone I wrongfully trusted with my secrets anyway.

I am a writer and as I've stated before, my therapy is filling you all in on some of the chaos that goes down in my daily routines. But what I feel I need to spend more time doing is bringing peace into my life. Surrounding myself with positive things and positive people instead of worrying about who's trying to sleep with people they should not be sleeping with (Oops! Did i say that out loud?? GOOD!) Furthermore, I'm not going to make it my job to call out bad minded people anymore. Those who do me wrong are left to be dealt with by one and one alone...God. That's it. There's nothing I can do to punish them with my words or actions. Ultimately, you know what they say, Karma is a bitch!! Not just any bitch either....a psychotic pre-menstrual bitch suffering from bloating, fatigue, lower abdominal cramps and an extreme lack of sexual activity. So go on! Keep it up! I encourage you....

My life is a movie!

Yes...Indeed it is. My life, ladies and gentlemen is FUCKIN movie (pardon my French). It is one long dramatic, romantic, action-packed, horror chick flick! True story! Oh it doesn't even come close to fitting into one specific category. It's allllll of the above. I'm so convinced that the shyt that happens to me CANNOT possibly happen to anyone else. I guess that could be part of the reason why I blog. I get super excited when someone leaves a comment saying that they can relate to what I'm going through. Without that reassurance, I would very well believe that I am the only alien on this planet whose life is a constant roller coaster. Now for those of u who know me, you're probably thinking that I'm being an over the top drama queen right now, but ask urself this...do u REALLY think I tell u everything that goes on in my life?? With all due respect, I DO have at least some secrets. I get myself if some situations that u may never hear about. Situations that lead me to believe that my life is indeed a movie. Who are the viewers you ask? Who knows! But the ratings must be pretty damn high cuz I see no season finale is my future!

The drama never ends. I wake up...drama...I go to sleep...drama...my dreams consist of dramatic scenarios...everything I eat comes with a side order of drama...!! I barely remember what it's like to live a normal day to day life. Why, oh why is it that I tried to take my simple little puppy on a simple little walk today and I got attacked by a random fortune teller?!! I was calmly strolling along, minding my own damn business when a man in a turban comes SPRINTING out of the corner store, practically jumps in front of me and proceeds to tell me about all the stuff he can see about my life surrounding me just by looking at my forehead! My FOREHEAD dog?? Like, are u kidding me?? I tried to walk past him, but he was blocking my path and the bastard wouldn't move!! He just kept yelling random things! I secretly tried to indicate to my dog to bite him or at least pee on his leg, but of course, being the loving little bugger she is, she just kept licking his shoe! The worst part about this story was that every word coming out of the crazy man's mouth was on point!! It was all true! It was stuff that I didn't even want to hear about! I tried to cover my forehead so that he wouldn't be able to read anymore but he just laughed at me and kept right on talking! Then he had the nerve to tell me if I wanted to hear more, I had to pay him $30 dollars!! At that point I had to fight the urge to kick him in the shin!! Just when I was starting to get into the reading, he had to stop and ask for payment!! I was sooo cheeeesed!!!

I wish I could tell u guys what he was saying but he made me promise not to utter a single word. Apparently it's bad luck or sumthing. Who the hell knows!!!
Is that normal?? Did that same scenario happen to any of ya'll today? Probably not, right? Now that's just one story....I can go on for ages but unfortunately I have to get ready for work. I had to share this madness with somebody. By this time tomorrow I'm sure I'll have at least 8 more of these messed up tales to tell u becuz I work with crackheads! Not the staff, but the people that come into my club. They are crackheads. They say and do things that I can't even describe. And I'm front row and center, to take it all in. Am I not the luckiest girl in the world??!!!

Ps: Why did I pick that display picture for this blog? No reason really! I figured I'd pick a random photo for my random life!!

xoxo

Miss Taylor

I had to...

Excuse my perverted sence of humour, but I thought this pic was just toooo funny and cute not to share with all of u!!!

ENJOY!!

Slaaaaackinngggg!!

Yeah yeah...what can I say? When the weather gets warm I lose all focus! There's shopping to be done, bbq's to attend and most importantly BIKINIS to FIT INTO!!! My boot camp starts this week. I literally haven't been on a workout program since last winter. I'm a tad bit nervous. My trainer is pretty hardcore but I'm thinking if I whine consistently and shed a few tears here and there, he might just go easy on me!!

Other than that, life is great! I know u wouldn't think so after ready my last super-dramatic post, but things always have a way of working themselves out and turning around for the better. Someone up there must really love me!! I'll be doing an intense 22 hour weekend course next weekend. That's 11 hours of learning per day for 2 whole days! It's gonna be crazy, but it's almost imperative for me to succeed as a planner. So I'm looking forward to it!

I'm going to be posting some video blogs very soon. Of what u ask? You'll have to wait and see.....I should have my first one done in the next few weeks...so stay tuned!!

Love u all!!

xoxo

Miss Taylor

Battling Nature

SOooo my puppy got her period today. I'm so upset! She's only 8 months! She pretty much just stepped her little paws onto God's green Earth and already she has to deal with PMS, bloating, cramps, and teeny tiny tampons. This is horrible! The worst part about it is that my mother is a TOTAL germaphobe and is disgusted by the idea of a menstruating puppy under her roof. She won't even go near the poor little pup. So you know what that means? My little Chloe's gonna have to get FIXED!! Now I don't know what the actual process is when a female doggy gets "fixed" but I do know that that shyt doesn't sound like fun! I also know that she'll probably very uncomfortable and in a lot of pain when it's over. It hurts me to know that this poor little helpless creature is going to have to endure such pain just to reverse nature.

I wish I could help her! But I can't. I can't even help myself. You see, I myself am going through something similar to her. I have to go through something extremely painful to reverse nature. Nature drew me to him, nature made me fall madly for him, and due to circumstances beyond my control, I have to endure the painful process to try to reverse the effects of nature...I have to fall out of love. Sometimes I wish there was a procedure for humans where we could go and get "fixed." Maybe have a doctor go inside and alter our hearts so that we no longer feel pain or hurt. Maybe we could pay someone to put together the broken pieces, or seal up the cracks and holes. Or perhaps they could tuck our hearts away a steel box so that no emotions can ever penetrate. Or maybe, they could just remove it all together. I wouldn't mind if they could just take the whole damn thing out. Fuck it! Tina Turner said it best...I quote "Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken."

It's true that a heart can also feel love, happiness, pride, joy, and all that other good stuff. But does any of that matter when u feel defeated, broken and damaged. I think not. I asked myself today, when I have a child in the future, how am going to educate them on how to heal their broken heart? Do I tell them that a broken heart is just like a broken bone? You just try your best to protect it until the time comes for it to heal on it's own. How will they understand when I don't even understand. I don't want to understand. I don't need to understand. All I want to feel is nothing. I just want to be numb.

The B-word

Ladies and Gentleman, I realized something about myself today.....I am a BITCH!!!! Honestly, I don't even know why I have friends! Something is seriously up with me. I know where it comes from...my mother. I love her to death but man.....when she's in a bad mood, I'd sooner be vacationing in Afganistan than to be in her presence! True story!

Anyways, so today, after I ripped new assholes for about 4 different people, I sat down and tried to figure out why I can't seem to get along with anybody. My conclusion was that not only is it due to my ridiculously severe case of PMS, it's also becuz I'm just really a mean person when I'm mad! Keep in mind, it takes a lot to get me upset. I'm happy and positive 80% of the time. But when that 20% comes around....it's war! I even scare myself! Nobody really bothers to fight back becuz I think the shock of what it actually coming out of my mouth takes over and they can't even pick their mouths off the floor to try and rebuttal. Its awful! It's definitely something I am not proud of. The only reason I'm telling you this is becuz i said some really mean things to someone who means the world to me last night and the guilt has been eating away at me ALLLLL DAYYY!!!

So from today on, I am going to make a conscious effort to lighten the eff up a little!! Even if it means I have to double up on the blog posts just to keep myself from ripping off someone's head and spiting down their neck, I'm up for it! (Eww...sorry...that was totally unnecessary. I'm just trying to get my point across!)

I just thought I'd share that little peice of info with you guys. Admitting our flaws is the first step to recovery....or something like that. *shrugs*

To anyone's feeling's I've hurt over the past 3 days becuz of my PMS infested, hurricane of an attitude....I'm sowwy! :( Kisses to all!!! xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

Our Best Friend's Wedding

Soooo last Friday one of my best friends of 13 years hopped the broom! That's right, that crazy bytch got married!! lol!! Lucky for her she's found the most perfect husband in the WORLD. She could not have looked any more perfect than she did that day. The whole ceremony was absolutely beeeeautiful and the reception was even better. We all had a blast. I would like to take this time to congratulate my beautiful friend Jessica and her wonderful husband Kevin for taking such a huge step and giving us all hope that good men and true love still do exist!!! Pics of tht ceremony coming soon but for now....

Long overdue...

Ok so these pics are so dusty and crusty and should have been posted FOREVER and a day ago...however, since I've just now risen from the dead, I figure now's a pretty good time to post them!!

There aren't many since I was too absent-minded to bring a camera, (Thank u Hadia for being smart enough to carry one with u!!) but here's a little sneak peek at my lovely, intimate, wonderful b-day dinner party!!

The next Morning....



Time to clean...



Suzy, as usual, wakes up having more energy than one should ever have after a night of partying!!!


ALL IN ALL IT WAS A PERFECT NIGHT!! THANK YOU TO ALL MY GIRLES THAT CAME OUT TO CELEBRATE. A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MY BABY WHO MADE SURE EVERYTHING WENT SMOOTHLY! LOVE YOU ALL!!! LET'S DO IT AGAIN NEXT YEAR SHALL WE?!?!


xoxo

Miss Taylor

I'M BAAAAACKKKK....!!!

Ohhhh mannnn does it feel good to be back!! Why the hell did I leave in the first place you ask? Well...I felt I needed a break. I went through a bit of a transition stage and I had to question whether I should continue to blog or not. What brought me back you ask? Well the amount of hate mail i started to receive threatening my life if I didn't start blogging again began to add up. I started receiving late night anonymous phone calls where random readers would call and whisper over and over "bring it back bytch....BRING IT BAAAAACK..." That type of stuff starts to scare you after a while, so I said Hey, what the hell! And here I ammmmm!!! It's been a long time...I shouldn't of left you. But the good news is, I have a LOT of stuff to talk about as I have now entered a new stage in my life. I am truly happy, I am truly blessed, and no one...I mean NO ONE is going to bring me down!!
I love you all! Thank you for your patience with my on going disappearing act!

Stay tuned!!

xoxoo

Miss Taylor

PINK!!!

Call me crazy, but I this video is one of my FAVOURITE videos of all time! I wish I was in it! Why? Well 3 reasons: 1) I'm crazy....2) I LOVE Aerosmith (true story! I bet you would have NEVER guessed that huh?...and 3) Pink really is my favourite colour! So you see folks, it would only be appropriate that I would star in the video....however it didn't quite work out that way, seeing as I was only 11 when it came out. REGARDLESS, Love the song, love the video, and if U happen to be reading this Steven Tyler, I LOVE U TOO!!!!!!!!

How well do YOU know YOU??

All About Me Survey from Quizopolis.com

This is a powerful test to see how well u know yourself. I literally completed this in less than 2 minutes without even thinking about the answers...they just came out. I always talk about how important it is to be your own best friend and to know yourself inside and out. It's funny completely a few sentences can teach you so much about yourself, as a person. How well do YOU know YOU??
Quizopolis.comhttp://www.quizopolis.com/all_about_me_survey.php

I Am- A strong minded beautiful woman
I Want - the best life has to offer me
I Have - a life filled with blessings
I Wish - that I could be motivated to do better everyday
I Hate - not knowing what the future holds
I Fear - being disappointed
I Hear - my inner voice guiding me
I Search - for answers within myself
I Wonder - what my purpose is in life
I Regret - wasting so much time
I Love - to love
I Ache - to feel what I give out
I Always - try to see the good in every situation
I Usually - am a positive thinker
I Am Not - easily forgotten
I Dance - when i feel like it
I Sing - whenever I want
I Never - say never
I Rarely - open up to strangers
I Cry - when i hurt inside
I Am Not Always - confident in myself
I Lose - my temper
I'm- Confused - a lot of the time
I Need - to feel complete
I Should - spend more time with my family
I Dream - of living happily ever after

BLOGGIN' IS MY HOBBY!!

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!! SO WHEN IT BECOME A SMASH HIT, YA'LL KNOW WHO TO GIVE WRITER'S CREDIT TO!! LOL!!

PAGE, SMOKE N MIRRORS, HOLLA AT CHA GURL!!!

And I thought I was an impulse buyer!

Confessions of a Shopaholic part 2??? I think so!! We went in for a blender and came out with isles 1 thru 24 of Kitchen Stuff Plus. That little head u see poking out would be mine....4 hours later! I'm hungry, tired and wondering why the hell I didn't just go in for the blender myself! Only problem is, he forgot he drove a little toy car and NOT a Greyhound bus!! Keep in mind the ENTIRE trunk is also overflowing with purchases. Consequently, Ashley drowns in shopping bags. Good times....