Ahhh....winter. The days are shorter, the nights are longer, the snow gently falls on upon ur rooftop, as you sit by the fire sipping hot coco cuddled up next to your handsome beau...you know, the one that you chased all summer but has finally decided to settle down now that it's cold outside. Yeah....him...!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH THAT?????
Wait...before I continue, let me just say that I'm not referring to anyone in particular. It just seems that I've been getting a lot of calls from girlfriends who are now newly hooked up and in "relationships" with men that barely remembered their names a few short months ago.
Hmm...unusual you say? Not at all. This is the time of year that men like to hang up their pimp coats, park their nice whips in the garage, bring out the beaters, and settle down with a nice (and I quote) "Winter ting!"
Now ladies, how do you know if you are his "Winter Ting?"
Allow me...
*If you've seen homeboy more in the past 4 weeks than you did in the 4 summer months....you are a Winter Ting
*If he's only now introducing you to his mother, the same mother you were told lived in Jamaica when you asked to meet her back in the summer...you are a Winter Ting.
*If your dream dates consisting of nice dinners and romantic movies have now been replaced with Friday nights watching him play Halo 3 in his mother's basement...you are a Winter Ting.
*If he feels no way coming to scoop you in a broken down 1987 rust encrusted, winter tire-less, all around jacked up beater that you have to kick with ur Uggs just to be able to open the door to get in, and when eventually you do get in, there's no seat belt so you have to hold onto that little handle thing on the roof of the car that's hanging on for dear life with silver electric tape and he has his Diskman, not even an ipod, hooked up to the cassette player with a connecting wire....you are a Winter Ting.
*If you're being forced to get along with Felicia, his best friend's new "girlfriend" because all of a sudden you're going to spending a lottttt of time with her during your double dates at your man or his best friend's crib....you are a Winter Ting...and so is Felicia. Shhh....!
*If you wake up to him snoring beside you and cash on the bedside table with a note instructing you to call a taxi and text him when you get home to let him know you got in safely.....you are a Winter Ting.
*If he picks a big fight with you the day before Christmas or Valentine's Day and then calls to apologize exactly 2 days after...it means he didn't have a nice way of telling you he didn't wanna buy you a gift. Hence....you are a Winter Ting.
Ok I'm done. I'm just being honest! This wasn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm sure being a Winter Ting isn't entirely bad! Just make sure that if he's worth it, you do what you gotta do to make sure you're still in the picture when summer rolls around again. Cuz once the snow starts to melt, the predators come out of hibernation, hungry, drooling and looking for fresh meat.
JERKS!!!!!!
LOL!!!
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