Buzzed

Sooo....I just got home from my bartending gig and I must say, I made a killing tonight!!! yay!! I decided to keep my energy up by sipping 3 Redbulls. Consequently, I'm now home, in bed, WIDE AWAKE and very jittery. I'm looking around my room at all the things that should be making me smile, but instead, I'm frowning!! Which gave me the idea to share some things that I witnessed tonight at the club that I, Ashley Taylor, frown upon!!

* I frown upon stick thin, no curve having, girls that think it's cute to come out in their little sister's t-shirts and play them off as dresses.

*I frown upon those that "bubble" to Dr. Dre

*I frown upon people whose drink comes up to $4.75, hand me a $5 bill and wait for me to give them their quarter back

* I frown upon the girl who wore a red shirt and pink pants. There's never a need to be so unattractively festive, not even if it was the last Valentine's Day of this era

* I frown upon the little red head man who kept referring to me as "Caramel" all night

* I frown upon the "Baller" who acted like the $4.00 tip he left me on his $6.00 Heineken was enough to send my future children to university

* I frown upon the people that boycott gum and/or breath mints after eating rotten garlic cloves out of a downtown dumpster. These are the ones that like to get all up in my face and whisper their order right into my nostrils. I FROWN!!!

* I frown upon whoever thought it would be ok to take their mother to the club with them and allow her to do the Willy Bounce on the podium

* I frown upon the group of whores in the VIP that think SWEAR they're on the Hills. Do u see a camera crew up in this piece?? Cuz I certainly don't!

* I frown upon whoever fondled my bum and then stole my MAC lip gloss out of my back pocket on my way to the bathroom. I guess you needed it more than I did?

* I frown upon DJ's that think it's fun to play the theme song to Fresh Prince in the middle of a hot set. I just don't see where that could possibly fit in...

* I frown upon bouncers that weigh less than I do. For some reason I just don't feel safe under your supervision

* I frown upon girls that think for second it would be appropriate to dance on the bar. I'll karate chop a bytch! Don't test me when I have Redbull in my system!

* I frown upon the fact that it's 4:30 am and I have so much fakin energy!! No ones awake and I have no choice but to blog to all YOU people!! Mannn....I love you guys!
What would I do without ya??

xoxo

Miss Taylor