UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NOW UNDERSTAND 160% WHY WOMEN BECOME LESBIANS!!!!!!!!!!

MEN MAKE ME SICK!!! THEY ALL JUST NEED TO FALL IN A HOLE AND DIE....

FUCKIN LOSERS!!

Red Light District

Ok so...this is my first blog of the new year!! How exciting!! For some odd reason I feel obligated to make it good! I'm making a conscious effort not to man bash as much as I did in 2008. So instead, let's bytch bash!! I have a few things I need to get out there!

Question: Why are some females such dirty, shameless, no-moral-or-value-having whores?? I don't know if it's just my generation, but I am completely disgusted with a lot of girls between the ages of 18 and 23. Let me break it down...

I work with men...all men...all very handsome men. Becuz of the kind of person I am, they treat me like one of the boys, which means lucky little me gets to be a part of the uncensored conversations about girls, sex, etc etc. Although I've had to occasionally run from the office in utter disgust from a few of these conversations, I feel like I have learned quite a bit about the way men view women/girls. All I have to say is, I don't freakin blame them!

I'm not sure what it is that's lacking in a lot of these young females' lives, but whatever it is, it's causing them to have very little or no self respect. They lay on their backs for any and everyone that shoots them a look. It's sad. Half of them can't possibly anything more than the man's name before they are giving up their bodies to them. They put themselves in a category within the first 5 minutes of interaction. It's in the way they dress, the way the walk, the way they talk...it's their overall presentation that's screaming "FUCK ME!" TAKE IT ALL! I'M GOOD FOR IT! AND I EVEN PROMISE NOT TO ASK FOR YOUR NUMBER ONCE IT'S OVER 5 MINUTES FROM NOW!"

The first thing I can assume that's missing in the lives of these girls is a positive male figure. Yeah yeah, I know that sounds super cliche and Dr. Phil-ish but it happens! Dad splits...little girl grows up with a certain hartird for men that she probably doesn't even know she has...and ultimately this leads to her becoming a "pleaser". She learns to do whatever it takes to please men instead of finding out what it takes to please herself first. And I'm not just talking sexually. I mean her whole life becomes about making men happy. She feels obligated at all times to make sure any man she's with is content. Even if it means giving it up before she's ready. Why? Because of the fear of rejection. Emotionally, these girls are scarred from their fathers walking out on them, so the thought of any other man rejecting them in any way, shape or form, is too much for them to handle. This is just one example. There are countless scenarios resulting in countless reasons why girls these days are so promiscuous.

There's nothing wrong with a little friendly competition (unless it's among friends of course!) When two females are in a social setting, say, a party for instance, and there happens to be a guy that catches both girl's attention, naturally, the internal tigress will come out in each of them. Take for example, a female peacock who spreads her feathers to show of their beauty when a male peacock walks by. Except females these days are spreading their legs to show off their insecurities when a male walks by!! NOT CUTE LADIES! There are A LOT of other ways to lure a guy in without promising to sleep with him. Let's see...there's eye contact, body language, or HEY! How bout good old fashioned CONVERSATION!! WORDS!! Remember what those are?? Your mouth is capable of doing other things...like speaking!! Try it sometime!

Excuse my ignorance, but I'm sorry! I've had it with hoes!! I'm tired of the loose ones making the GOOD GIRLS look like shyt! It's getting harder and harder to find a good man because so many of them are distracted by all the free sex that's being thrown at their feet. That's not a justification by any means! In the end, if the man takes it, he's just as dirty as the chick...we know this. But really, we as girls know that men are weak when it comes to sex. Why not give them something to work for? Men get praised for being scandalous...once again...this is something we already know. But as women, we make one false move and our respect is out the window! Is that fair? Of course not! But that's the way of the world.

I'm not saying I'm perfect but one thing i do know is that my mother raised with me enough class and instilled enough morals in me that I can sit here today and express my concern on this topic. Step ya game up ladies! When u look bad, u make us all look bad! And if your mad at me right now for putting you on blast, you shud be ashamed of yourself cuz I'm probably directing this towards you!!!

So in conclusion, let 2009 be the year of cleaning up you reputations ladies!
If not for you, then at least for your mothers!!

HAVE SOME DAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELVES!!!

*Storms off....*

lol!!

Goodnight!!!

Lions and Tigers and Bears!

Oh my!! Big tune!! Miss Jazmine Sullivan came correct on this one. Her voice is so unique, as is this song. Enjoy!!

My best friend

I received a very touching email on FACEBOOK the other day. This was the first part of a very VERY lonnnng (but flattering note). I'd like to share it with you...


"Hi Ashley,

I just read your blog on Fate. I was a bit confused at first because I look at you (though I don't KNOW you), and I see perfection. I would assume that you have everything that you wanted in life. From your pics you come across as a very happy, popular, and confident individual. I can see from your modeling pics that you are a go-getter, hard-working, determined/driven, and successful. I wouldn't guess that something was missing in the picture. Of course, I'm looking from the outside and people should never assume things..." etc etc etc. "

She's absolutely right!! You should NEVER assume things!! The rest of the email continued on. The young lady who wrote the email shared some very touching, and personal stories about her life. She opened up about various topics which both shocked and flattered me. After reading the email in its entirety, I asked myself "Why me?" Why did this lady think that I was any better off than her?

She writes:
"I've been my worst enemy for years, I just wish I could be my best friend..."

Then it dawned on me. The reason why I am a little better off that the writer is because I AM MY BEST FRIEND! I really and truly mean that. It took a very VERY VERY long time for me to accept myself as I am but when I finally did, I fell in love....with me!! Ain't that some shyt!! lol!

As some of you know, a few years ago I was in a very serious relationship. The man was the love of my life. He was my whole world. I thought were were going to spend the rest of our days together. To make a long story short, we broke up. The reason why...I will explain another time in another blog. For now I want to explain you what happened after the breakup. I, Ashley Taylor, figured out who Ashley Taylor was. I stopped being the person that people thought I should be and started being the person I was, buried underneath all the "Internet fame." (ugh..i feel so wack even SAYING that!!!) I begin my "soul searching journey" and boy, did I EVER find my soul!! I can proudly say I know myself better now than I ever would have had I stayed in my relationship. I needed that time to just be me.

The email I shared with you shows that people look at me and think that just because I look happy in my pictures, that my life is "perfect." FAR FROM!! Let me tell you!! Indeed, I have been very blessed. I have a great family, fantastic siblings and parents that will bend over backwards for me. I have great friends who are there for me at the drop of a dime. My job is amazing. I live in a beautiful city and I have opportunities that others would kill for. I am healthy and strong and have a wonderful relationship with God. Yes, I am blessed. Does that mean my life is perfect??? The name of my blog is quite misleading. I do get what I want, true story. However, I have had to shed a lot of blood, sweat and tears, to get to where I am today...content. I am content. I am happy. I no longer care about other people's opinions about me. I am who I am. Love me or hate me. I no longer worry about pleasing everybody and their mother. This is my new outlook on life. I was never like this before. I have come a lonnnng way ladies and gentlemen!!

I used to be super shy, super self conscious and needed people to tell me I was pretty, smart, funny, likable....blah blah blah!!! I HATED attention (i still do). I hated the thought of anyone not liking me and went out of my way to be perfect. Guess what? I'M NOT PERFECT!!! (Surprised?? I know!! Kidding!!)
I remember staring at myself for hours in the mirror wishing I had smaller feet, wider eyes, narrower shoulders, thicker legs....longer toe nails, pointier ears, a more chisled jawline....YOU NAME IT, I WANTED IT!!!

I remember being in situations where something funny would happen and all I wanted to do was make a joke out loud. But I didn't know if it would be "socially acceptable" so instead I kept it in.

I remember being on sets of photo/video shoot and being told to basically sit there, shut up and look pretty. I remember thinking to myself "How can I sit still when I wanna jump up and interview that guy over there? How can I shut up when I have so much to say about the lighting on this set? How can I look pretty if I don't FEEL pretty in this piece of cloth that's barely covering my nipples??" So I stood up, packed my stuff, got in a cab and never turned back. I am not Extasy Angel. I am Ashley Taylor. I am not a local Internet celebrity. I am a real person. I have thoughts, I have feelings. My life is not perfect, but it's perfect for me. Don't believe the hype!! I have sat at a tables with some of the most beautiful and successful people in the industry...models, rappers, directors, mangers, DJ's...
The ones that I admire the most are the ones I feel know who they are. The are the ones that inspired me to find out who I was.

There is nothing wrong with spending time with yourself. Ask yourself questions and find the answers from within. "I know I like sushi but WHY do i like sushi? I know I feel happy when I am with him/her but WHAT about him/her makes me happy? I know it hurts when I think about such and such, but WHY does it hurt and WHEN did it start hurting? HOW am I going to stop it from hurting?"

This is the best advice I can possibly give to anyone! It works! It's not easy but it's so necessary. Look to nobody but yourself for answers. They're all within....even when you don't want to believe that they are. When you think you you can't find them, look a little deeper. I promise you, there are there.


xoxoxo

Ashley Taylor

S.A.G CHRISTMAS PARTY

SOoooo last Saturday, was the night of the biggest event I've put in in my career thus far. It was the first annual "I'm Dreaming of A Supreme Christmas Event!" (I picked the name myself! I know I'm clever! You don't have to tell me!!) LOL!

Anyways, you might be thinking to yourself, "A Christmas party? What's the big deal?" Well I'll tell you what the big deal is! I tuned a massive car dealership into a beautiful ballroom. And I did a damn good job if i do say so myself!!

Everything was amazing! The food, the live band, the DJ and of course, performances by Erica, the "Sky High Girl" who I've decided has no bones cuz she can contort her perfect little body into non human shapes! I'm jealous....
Overall, the vibe was superb!

Of course, like any of my events, I was too busy running around like a headless chicken to eat, drink or be merry. But I did get to sit at the "executive table" and make a speech. I messed it up a tad bit! I hope nobody noticed! All my closest friends and fam came out which was greatly appreciated. All the love and support I felt throughout the night was overwhelming and I wanna take the time out to thank everyone that came out to celebrate the end of a great year. And although the night didn't end the way I intended, I had a blast!!

P.S: I have to get this part off my chest...it might sound rude but it needs to be said. I hate using the term "hater" but in this case, it's necessary. If you were one of the many haters that attended the party last week, thank you for giving me the motivation and inspiration to run laps around your sorry, worthless groupie little asses. What you should do is stop wasting your time hating and come up with a game plan on how your going to get on my level. Need a ladder???


To the rest of you that showed me nothing but love...here's my love right back at you!! Love you all!!!

Big shoutout to the ENTIRE SUPREME TEAM! This was a group effort and I couldn't do it without the help of each and everyone of you!!!! You guys are amazing!!!
xoxoxxo

The professional pics are coming but in the meantime, here are some candids:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Broken Hearted Girl

Beautiful song....disgustingly relavant...i wanna cry and puke at the same time...
sorry...i know that's gross. Just listen...

On a brighter note...

I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE TAYLOR FAMILY.....CHLOE!!!

When I was little, I begged and begged and BEGGED for a puppy...I never got one. Kids these days are a lot smarter than we were back in the day. Check this, my little sister decided she wanted a dog, but instead of just ASKING for one, she used the "The Secret" theory and got one! I'm telling you, this girl went out and bought a bowl, a brush, a leash, a collar before we even thought about getting a dog! She would set it all up in the corner of the kitchen as if we already had one. My friends would come over, see all the dog stuff and thought my family was crazy. But guess what bytches??? IT WORKED!!!! She's the sweetest little thing in the world and I lovvvvvvvvvvvvve her!!!!!

Cursed

What do you do when you just CAN'T seem to get something right??

Should you take it as a sign that it's not meant to be, or do you keep working at it until it happens??

When the emotional exhaustion starts to kick in do you put yourself out of misery by accepting defeat or take it as the motivation you need to push harder towards your goal?

When you've come so far from where you originally started that the thought of throwing it all away makes you physically sick...which way do you go? Which path should you chose?

When your heart has lost the ability to heal the cracks...when your eyes can no longer produce another tear...when your body is beaten down from the emotional blows....is it ok to walk away??

Please just let me walk away....