My life is a movie!

Yes...Indeed it is. My life, ladies and gentlemen is FUCKIN movie (pardon my French). It is one long dramatic, romantic, action-packed, horror chick flick! True story! Oh it doesn't even come close to fitting into one specific category. It's allllll of the above. I'm so convinced that the shyt that happens to me CANNOT possibly happen to anyone else. I guess that could be part of the reason why I blog. I get super excited when someone leaves a comment saying that they can relate to what I'm going through. Without that reassurance, I would very well believe that I am the only alien on this planet whose life is a constant roller coaster. Now for those of u who know me, you're probably thinking that I'm being an over the top drama queen right now, but ask urself this...do u REALLY think I tell u everything that goes on in my life?? With all due respect, I DO have at least some secrets. I get myself if some situations that u may never hear about. Situations that lead me to believe that my life is indeed a movie. Who are the viewers you ask? Who knows! But the ratings must be pretty damn high cuz I see no season finale is my future!

The drama never ends. I wake up...drama...I go to sleep...drama...my dreams consist of dramatic scenarios...everything I eat comes with a side order of drama...!! I barely remember what it's like to live a normal day to day life. Why, oh why is it that I tried to take my simple little puppy on a simple little walk today and I got attacked by a random fortune teller?!! I was calmly strolling along, minding my own damn business when a man in a turban comes SPRINTING out of the corner store, practically jumps in front of me and proceeds to tell me about all the stuff he can see about my life surrounding me just by looking at my forehead! My FOREHEAD dog?? Like, are u kidding me?? I tried to walk past him, but he was blocking my path and the bastard wouldn't move!! He just kept yelling random things! I secretly tried to indicate to my dog to bite him or at least pee on his leg, but of course, being the loving little bugger she is, she just kept licking his shoe! The worst part about this story was that every word coming out of the crazy man's mouth was on point!! It was all true! It was stuff that I didn't even want to hear about! I tried to cover my forehead so that he wouldn't be able to read anymore but he just laughed at me and kept right on talking! Then he had the nerve to tell me if I wanted to hear more, I had to pay him $30 dollars!! At that point I had to fight the urge to kick him in the shin!! Just when I was starting to get into the reading, he had to stop and ask for payment!! I was sooo cheeeesed!!!

I wish I could tell u guys what he was saying but he made me promise not to utter a single word. Apparently it's bad luck or sumthing. Who the hell knows!!!
Is that normal?? Did that same scenario happen to any of ya'll today? Probably not, right? Now that's just one story....I can go on for ages but unfortunately I have to get ready for work. I had to share this madness with somebody. By this time tomorrow I'm sure I'll have at least 8 more of these messed up tales to tell u becuz I work with crackheads! Not the staff, but the people that come into my club. They are crackheads. They say and do things that I can't even describe. And I'm front row and center, to take it all in. Am I not the luckiest girl in the world??!!!

Ps: Why did I pick that display picture for this blog? No reason really! I figured I'd pick a random photo for my random life!!

xoxo

Miss Taylor

I had to...

Excuse my perverted sence of humour, but I thought this pic was just toooo funny and cute not to share with all of u!!!

ENJOY!!

Slaaaaackinngggg!!

Yeah yeah...what can I say? When the weather gets warm I lose all focus! There's shopping to be done, bbq's to attend and most importantly BIKINIS to FIT INTO!!! My boot camp starts this week. I literally haven't been on a workout program since last winter. I'm a tad bit nervous. My trainer is pretty hardcore but I'm thinking if I whine consistently and shed a few tears here and there, he might just go easy on me!!

Other than that, life is great! I know u wouldn't think so after ready my last super-dramatic post, but things always have a way of working themselves out and turning around for the better. Someone up there must really love me!! I'll be doing an intense 22 hour weekend course next weekend. That's 11 hours of learning per day for 2 whole days! It's gonna be crazy, but it's almost imperative for me to succeed as a planner. So I'm looking forward to it!

I'm going to be posting some video blogs very soon. Of what u ask? You'll have to wait and see.....I should have my first one done in the next few weeks...so stay tuned!!

Love u all!!

xoxo

Miss Taylor

Battling Nature

SOooo my puppy got her period today. I'm so upset! She's only 8 months! She pretty much just stepped her little paws onto God's green Earth and already she has to deal with PMS, bloating, cramps, and teeny tiny tampons. This is horrible! The worst part about it is that my mother is a TOTAL germaphobe and is disgusted by the idea of a menstruating puppy under her roof. She won't even go near the poor little pup. So you know what that means? My little Chloe's gonna have to get FIXED!! Now I don't know what the actual process is when a female doggy gets "fixed" but I do know that that shyt doesn't sound like fun! I also know that she'll probably very uncomfortable and in a lot of pain when it's over. It hurts me to know that this poor little helpless creature is going to have to endure such pain just to reverse nature.

I wish I could help her! But I can't. I can't even help myself. You see, I myself am going through something similar to her. I have to go through something extremely painful to reverse nature. Nature drew me to him, nature made me fall madly for him, and due to circumstances beyond my control, I have to endure the painful process to try to reverse the effects of nature...I have to fall out of love. Sometimes I wish there was a procedure for humans where we could go and get "fixed." Maybe have a doctor go inside and alter our hearts so that we no longer feel pain or hurt. Maybe we could pay someone to put together the broken pieces, or seal up the cracks and holes. Or perhaps they could tuck our hearts away a steel box so that no emotions can ever penetrate. Or maybe, they could just remove it all together. I wouldn't mind if they could just take the whole damn thing out. Fuck it! Tina Turner said it best...I quote "Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken."

It's true that a heart can also feel love, happiness, pride, joy, and all that other good stuff. But does any of that matter when u feel defeated, broken and damaged. I think not. I asked myself today, when I have a child in the future, how am going to educate them on how to heal their broken heart? Do I tell them that a broken heart is just like a broken bone? You just try your best to protect it until the time comes for it to heal on it's own. How will they understand when I don't even understand. I don't want to understand. I don't need to understand. All I want to feel is nothing. I just want to be numb.

The B-word

Ladies and Gentleman, I realized something about myself today.....I am a BITCH!!!! Honestly, I don't even know why I have friends! Something is seriously up with me. I know where it comes from...my mother. I love her to death but man.....when she's in a bad mood, I'd sooner be vacationing in Afganistan than to be in her presence! True story!

Anyways, so today, after I ripped new assholes for about 4 different people, I sat down and tried to figure out why I can't seem to get along with anybody. My conclusion was that not only is it due to my ridiculously severe case of PMS, it's also becuz I'm just really a mean person when I'm mad! Keep in mind, it takes a lot to get me upset. I'm happy and positive 80% of the time. But when that 20% comes around....it's war! I even scare myself! Nobody really bothers to fight back becuz I think the shock of what it actually coming out of my mouth takes over and they can't even pick their mouths off the floor to try and rebuttal. Its awful! It's definitely something I am not proud of. The only reason I'm telling you this is becuz i said some really mean things to someone who means the world to me last night and the guilt has been eating away at me ALLLLL DAYYY!!!

So from today on, I am going to make a conscious effort to lighten the eff up a little!! Even if it means I have to double up on the blog posts just to keep myself from ripping off someone's head and spiting down their neck, I'm up for it! (Eww...sorry...that was totally unnecessary. I'm just trying to get my point across!)

I just thought I'd share that little peice of info with you guys. Admitting our flaws is the first step to recovery....or something like that. *shrugs*

To anyone's feeling's I've hurt over the past 3 days becuz of my PMS infested, hurricane of an attitude....I'm sowwy! :( Kisses to all!!! xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

Our Best Friend's Wedding

Soooo last Friday one of my best friends of 13 years hopped the broom! That's right, that crazy bytch got married!! lol!! Lucky for her she's found the most perfect husband in the WORLD. She could not have looked any more perfect than she did that day. The whole ceremony was absolutely beeeeautiful and the reception was even better. We all had a blast. I would like to take this time to congratulate my beautiful friend Jessica and her wonderful husband Kevin for taking such a huge step and giving us all hope that good men and true love still do exist!!! Pics of tht ceremony coming soon but for now....

Long overdue...

Ok so these pics are so dusty and crusty and should have been posted FOREVER and a day ago...however, since I've just now risen from the dead, I figure now's a pretty good time to post them!!

There aren't many since I was too absent-minded to bring a camera, (Thank u Hadia for being smart enough to carry one with u!!) but here's a little sneak peek at my lovely, intimate, wonderful b-day dinner party!!

The next Morning....



Time to clean...



Suzy, as usual, wakes up having more energy than one should ever have after a night of partying!!!


ALL IN ALL IT WAS A PERFECT NIGHT!! THANK YOU TO ALL MY GIRLES THAT CAME OUT TO CELEBRATE. A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MY BABY WHO MADE SURE EVERYTHING WENT SMOOTHLY! LOVE YOU ALL!!! LET'S DO IT AGAIN NEXT YEAR SHALL WE?!?!


xoxo

Miss Taylor

I'M BAAAAACKKKK....!!!

Ohhhh mannnn does it feel good to be back!! Why the hell did I leave in the first place you ask? Well...I felt I needed a break. I went through a bit of a transition stage and I had to question whether I should continue to blog or not. What brought me back you ask? Well the amount of hate mail i started to receive threatening my life if I didn't start blogging again began to add up. I started receiving late night anonymous phone calls where random readers would call and whisper over and over "bring it back bytch....BRING IT BAAAAACK..." That type of stuff starts to scare you after a while, so I said Hey, what the hell! And here I ammmmm!!! It's been a long time...I shouldn't of left you. But the good news is, I have a LOT of stuff to talk about as I have now entered a new stage in my life. I am truly happy, I am truly blessed, and no one...I mean NO ONE is going to bring me down!!
I love you all! Thank you for your patience with my on going disappearing act!

Stay tuned!!

xoxoo

Miss Taylor