AND I'M OFF...!!!

For those of you that are not aware, I am off to LONDON, ENGLAND in a matter of hours!! I'm soooo excited!!! What a great way to end a stank ass, effed up, piece of steaming cow shit summer! No really...this was probably the worst summer in all my years on Earth. It sucked.... I want to do whatever I can to forget about the endless days of rain and dark grey skies! Eww! We literally had 7 days of sunshine....and that was the end of that! I'm not the only one who thought this summer suck cow balls either! Everyone I've talked to has said the exact same thing! From Canada Day to Caribana....the excitment these past 3 months have been at a all time low...and by that I mean on a scale from 1 to 10 is was a big fat fakin ZERRRRRROOO!!!

Excuse my hauntedness today...I'm just so damn excited to be leaving this shit hole for a while! Don't get me wrong. I LOVE me some Toronto and all but I am lonnnnng overdue for a vacation. My mom was raised in England and I have a ton of family on both my parents' sides that I'm so looking forward to meeting. This trip is JUST what I need to clear my head and come back a brand new and improved Bad Bytch! Oh the shopping, the food, the fresh delicious CHOCOLATE factories, the sexy Brits with their sexy accents.....I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

I should have a computer at my hotel so I'll try my best to keep you guys updated and post as many pics and video as I can....Ok I'm lying! I won't be doing any of that until I get back! Who am I really fooling here?!

Don't miss me too much!!
I love you all!!!

Later Chaps!!!

Letting go...

Anyone out there who thinks letting go of a relationship is an easy process has undoubtedly never been in love. If you've ever told someone to "just get over it" or "stop dwelling on it", I have news for you...easier said than done my friend. You see the process of letting go does not just involve walking away from someone and jumping in bed with the next appealing person that catches your eye. Letting go means mentally and emotionally removing a person from your life. A person that once meant the world to you. A person with whom you've shared a million kisses, a thousand hugs and countless memories. A person who was by your side when you woke up suddenly from a bad dream at night. A person who kissed away your tears even when you tried your hardest not to cry in front of them. A person with whom you shared the type of laughter that made you feel like cheeks were going to burst. A person whose arms felt like iron gates, that once wrapped around you and made you feel like nothing in this world could possibly harm you. A person who you grew with and eventually grew apart from.

Letting go is probably the hardest thing a person can possibly do in this life. I used to be ashamed about admitting that I was in a relationship that failed. I felt like I had to act like I was strong enough to hold down any man and make it last no matter what. I'm now wise enough to know that you can't change people and more importantly, you can never change the plans that God has for you. I am not ashamed to have lost because I loved. I loved with every piece of my heart and soul. There's no better feeling in this world than having someone to share your love with, and because of this, I have no regrets. I still love. I will always love. I am grateful for the time we shared together and I am thankful for what I learned from our relationship. When I cry, it's because in essence, a part of me has died but in reality that part will live forever as memories in my heart. All good things must eventually come to an end, and the end brings on beautiful new beginnings. I look forward to learning more and loving again.

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more and
To let go and to let God, is to find peace !

Remember: The time to love is short ------ author unknown

Again....

I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back to me in
My mind


Chorus:
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again


A wounded heart you gave,
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many,
I know you did
I come from a place that hurts,
an' God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
Never fall again
Making love to you oh it felt so good and
Oh so right

Repeat Chorus

So here we are alone again,

Didn't think it'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss
I've come too close to happiness,
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
Never fall again
Kinda late in the game
And my heart is in your hands
Don't you stand there and then tell me
You love me
Then leave again
'Cause I'm falling in love with you again
Hold me, hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do love you again

How much respect do half naked women deserve nowadays???

Nice guys vs. Bad Boys

Do nice guys really finish last?? Damn right they do!!! Why?? Who the hell knows??!? Bad boys make us crazy in more ways than one, yet us women refuse to give them up....

Stay tuned for the wrap-up on this topic plus an exciting new one!!!

xoxo

I look drugged!!!

Nonetheless I address a questionable topic.....listen carefully and share your opinion....

NEW VIDEO BLOGS!!!!!

Reporting to you all from the comfort of my living room!!
Hope u can hear me....

Oh my God I'm back again!!!!

Yessssss!!! That's right! Your eyes are NOT deceiving you! Ash's back! I took a well needed vacation from blogging but now I'm just down right bored! Plus I missed you guys!! It's been far too long! Let's catch up shall we??

First of all me just say, I decided today that if I were a man, I would definitely be gay! Yup!! I'd be a flaming homosexual! You know why? Cuz females are just disgusting! They're gross! Their mission in lives are to lie on their backs and do as little else as possible. They are cheaters, they are liars, they are whores and they're just down right nasty! Now I'm not speaking of all women, mostly just the baby mommas (or future baby mommas) in the 20-25 age range that went to Pope in Scarborough. So if you attended any other high school, you are not included in this vent. However if you are a former Pope attendee and you happen to be reading this right now, I have 5 words for you that you'll probably be hearing often for the rest of your life "HE IS NOT THE FATHER!!!" Try again in another 9 months ladies! Don't worry, Maury never run out or paternity tests!

Ok now that that's out of the way...I've also made the decision to not make my blogs quite as personal as I was before. I know that may be disappointing because so many of you seem to enjoy the roller coaster I call life, BUT if you're close enough to me, you'll get the inside scoop regardless. And if you're not, chances are you'll probably hear it from someone I wrongfully trusted with my secrets anyway.

I am a writer and as I've stated before, my therapy is filling you all in on some of the chaos that goes down in my daily routines. But what I feel I need to spend more time doing is bringing peace into my life. Surrounding myself with positive things and positive people instead of worrying about who's trying to sleep with people they should not be sleeping with (Oops! Did i say that out loud?? GOOD!) Furthermore, I'm not going to make it my job to call out bad minded people anymore. Those who do me wrong are left to be dealt with by one and one alone...God. That's it. There's nothing I can do to punish them with my words or actions. Ultimately, you know what they say, Karma is a bitch!! Not just any bitch either....a psychotic pre-menstrual bitch suffering from bloating, fatigue, lower abdominal cramps and an extreme lack of sexual activity. So go on! Keep it up! I encourage you....